Notice the Emotional Changes

Date:  Jan 4, 2014

Being a parent is not easy nowadays.  Raising kids is no longer a simple task.  Raising them to them a great kid is another challenge.  Every parent wants 

One of the important task for parents is to be able to spot the “slight” emotional changes in your child when there is change in environment.  Once you detected such change, try to talk to your kid and understand what is their problem.  From there, you can deduce and provide a solution.

This week, I got to spent three days in Pei Tong Primary School to settle my son, Jay Jay into the Primary School life.  He is such a happy kid always. 


But look carefully.  If you takes a lot of photos without him aware, you will notice the slight difference in the emotion.  There is actually a change in emotion.  


Look at his eyes.  A faint sign of worry.  I can’t remember what is he looking at, but he is glancing and observing the other students in other classes.


For the first 2 days, he just sit there.  He is a happy kids and he should make friends there, but instead, he chose to sit quietly for the first 2 days.


 When he spotted you, there is a very short time of facial expression seem “asking help” from daddy.


Quickly, he turned away, and then, quickly wipe his eyes.  Tears?  Not sure.


Day #2 taking a bus to school.  First time, I am faster then the bus.  But look at the following video, at the end of the clip, Jay Jay came down from the bus.  And he is crying.  He complaints the bus is too cold.  Hmmm….. the emotional feelings must be escalated and he took the chance to spill it all out to me, but blame it on the cold air con on the bus.


All of these are little small signs that indicates that the child is in “a bit” of distress.  And such distress can be big or small.  Is just like a small fire in the forest, can be big or small.  If it is not handle properly, you end up with a huge forest fire that you cannot control.  

Immediately, I talked to the bus Auntie about his problem, why the air con is so cold.  Auntie promise me that tomorrow she will put him in front not at the back.

Also, I ensure that tomorrow he is able to bring the jacket to school.  Somehow he did not bring it because mommy took it away just now when he stepped on to the bus.

As I recall in all the event, such as cycling in West Coast park, Forest Adventure, Hokkaido Ski Trip, Bird Park Visit, POLW water play, etc.  I had never seen him unhappy before.  

So, I quickly sum up in my minds what could be the possible reasons to this…

1.  No playground for him compare to LWPS.

2.  He has fewer friends.  Especially when he arrived in school, and all his friends has not arrive, he might feel lonely.

3.  The learning environment although is new, and exciting, but the “familiarity” is not there.  

4.  Not enough sleep.  Even when you wake him 6:15am in the morning, he shows a bit of tears.  

5.  May be not enough snack time.

After I have thought about it, I decided to talk to him about fun things.  And I even arrange the tennis lessons with his friends that he will look forward to on Tuesday.  And I allow him to watch Ninjago for an hour or so.  Talk to him about body clock.  How we need to adjust our body clock so that we won’t feel that waking up in 6:15am is a burden.

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That sure makes him happy.  So, on day #2, its all about encouragement.  It’s all about givings.  And he felt good and sleep.  So, from day 3 you can see he is much happier.  When he comes down from the bus.  And he is happy wearing his green jacket.


And he even wear the green jacket in his class.  My wife wants me to tell him to take it off, it is too hot.  I told her that let the kid decide when is too hot.  He will know when it is too hot and take it off.  

But my theory is, he is familiar with his green jacket.  And he needs it to bring a certain comfort.  

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And of course, we are so lucky that Jay and Lukas is in the same class.  So, knowing that is a big relieve for Jay.  


And we are so lucky that the teacher put them to sit together too.  But I have to warn them that if they keep talking to each other in class, then, teacher might separate them in future.  hahahaha  And the first friend name he brings back is “Titus”.  That is the kid who sit beside him.  


Not only that… there is still Aiden and Brayden in the same school.  These kids are from Lorna Whiston, and they will need to help out each other in the future.

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So, on 3rd day, I finally have a sign of relief seeing him, and Lukas and a little girl (Rainy) exploring the school without their P3 buddies.  And this is where they going to build the new friendship and they are going to do this every day from now on.


And of course, to STRENGTHEN the message bring to the kid, I rewarded him with this surprise gift on his “Study Table”.  This is to tell him that 

1.  You did well in Primary 1.

2.  You have make your parents proud. 

3.  So, here is the reward for that.  

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Also, as a promise to Jay, we also make his Saturday free from any enrichment class.  So that we can make a quick trip to Malaysia, or to Zoo or to Sentosa, or to places he likes to go.  It also gives the parents a break too.

And he is looking forward to meet up his friends today (Saturday) at the West Coast Park again!  It’s going to be a picnic, biking, fly kites and foot ball gathering.  At least get a few friends to gather around to play with during weekend.

As in Primary School, it is possible that you going to change class every 2 years.  So, the friends from LWPS will be an important friends in his life as they have spent at least 4 years eating, playing, napping together.  

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